Will someone please run for president who will make the difficult decisions that don’t end up profiting some financial punks but will benefit our grandchildren? This is going to end up crippling our nation and enslaving us to the nation that buys us on the auction block…just in time for my granddaughter to be an adult.

Think I’m overreacting? Spend a half-hour watching this video and see how you feel.

“Form Follows Function”
Philippians 2:5-11
a sermon preached March 28, 2010

One of my favorite characters in a novel or movie is Howard Roark of Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead. Ironically it was a best-selling novel in 1943. It is ironic not only because it was rejected by 12 publishers but because it is about a character and a subject that flies in the face of everything common and therefore easy. We do not usually like to purchase those things that call us common or point out our flaws so distinctly. But in this bestseller, society is nothing more than herded cattle. The story’s protagonist however, is anything but cattle; he is the archetypal cowboy—though in fact an architect by trade. Howard Roark may seem individualistic or even a loner but being an individual is not his quest. His quest makes him stand out from the crowd. His vision is not only artistic but acutely personal and as such it touches every facet of his brilliant life. He is not afraid to be alone or different or even shunned and misunderstood. But he is concerned about being wrong, or rather, about doing it right. He is certain of his quest and will fulfill it, however modestly society dictates, without wavering.

Howard Roark is an architect who will not recreate things of the past or design so-called modern buildings that are adorned with ancient facades so as to make them acceptable to the public and to critics. He refuses to give the public what it wants and instead gives them what they need, through they do not yet know and may never understand their need. His designs are crisp and true and completely new; they stand out like the drawings of an adult compared to a child. He has no equal and there are few who understand him.

Ayn Rand may indeed have been writing about Frank Lloyd Wright or she may have been writing about an idealized, even romantic notion of what man could be. I like to think she was talking about the model man who had broken free of tradition, the shape of what the human spirit could look like if it became what it was meant to be instead of what it had always been.

With that thought it mind, I would like to shift gears and leave Howard Roark behind us. He is not perfect; far from it. And he would not have us follow him or try to be like him if he even existed. But there was a maxim within the story that made him who he was, that made his building what they were. If we pull that maxim (the title of this sermon) into view, we see another character emerge—one we can and should follow and one who said, “Follow me.” His life was one that stood out, was individual, unparalleled, new, decisive, and passionate. More movies have been made about him, more books written, and more buildings designed than for any other being. Justly so.

What makes Jesus Christ so unusual is not that he is God or man or even God and man. It is not his teachings of themselves or his manner of life or his times. The beauty and the allure of Jesus for me is that the the form of his life followed its function so purely. Yes, Jesus was God and he could have called down 10,000 or so angels to straighten out the human mess by scorching the earth with the fire of divine wrath. But his function on earth urged him to give up his divinity for awhile, and take the form of a servant instead of a god. He could easily have taken the powerful form of any Roman deity and had followers in the millions. But his function was not to mimic the old ways; his task was to lead us into new life. Because his function was so well defined, the form of his life followed.

Jesus did not come to earth to be a good teacher, a moral guide, a lesser deity in a Trinitarian panoply, a political revolutionary, or any of the many molds men have tried to make him fit. Jesus came to be a servant of the Almighty God, one who would lead us back into the company of his Father God. And so, Jesus did not found schools, though tens of thousands of schools have been dedicated to him. He did not publish a rule book though countless books about his teachings have been written. He did not aspire to be God but emptied himself of divinity, though he has been exalted and given a name that will bring every knee low and cause every tongue to confess that he is God.

This is overlooked because of our English translations. The word kurios used here in verse 11 and elsewhere in the New Testament is the same word used in the Old Testament when the penmen were endeavoring to be reverent. In the Septuagint, that great Greek copy of the Old Testament scriptures that was the Apostles’ Bible and even Jesus’, they would not write out the name of God, Yahweh. Instead, they wrote the Greek word Kurios or Kyrios, a word that translates as “Lord” but means “one that exercises supernatural authority over mankind.” Over 5,700 times Kurios is substituted for Yahweh (or more accurately for YHWH). This practice is carried over into the New Testament and is seen here juxtaposed: the idea of Jesus emptying himself of divinity in verse seven and being extolled as God in verse 11. But Jesus did not come here to be a powerful and compelling god.

Jesus could also have set up a new human form of government and demanded  civil obedience but he did not because it was not his function, though some like to think that there is at least one form of government that is supposed to be godly. Those whose lives are wrapped up in this pretense of a Christian government are lost to an exercise of futility. One may try to live right and govern rightly but life is not ultimately about either morality of government. Life is about following Jesus. But where? The “where to” is the function that the form of Jesus’ life took shape around.

Everything about Jesus’ life was about showing us the Father, showing us the way to his Father, and finally making a way for us to God our Father. The form of Jesus’ life followed this function with each step of his short life. Were it not so, we would have a world government today that follows Jesus. This is what the devil tempted him with in the wilderness when he said he could have all the kingdoms of the world if he would just bow to Satan’s will instead of his Father’s plan to save us. But Jesus’ life had a function, a purpose, and he would follow it no matter what form that function dictated. Were it not so, we would have a religion of power that serves his needs instead of a way of life that serves the needs of others. This is what the devil tempted him with when he said make these stones become bread. But the form of Jesus’ life shows the way that leads to the Father and not to self. Were it not so, we would have an unreal, Utopian sort of world where nothing can hurt us and nothing ever goes wrong. This is what the devil tempted Jesus with when he said throw yourself off the pinnacle of the Temple and God will have his angels bear you up. But the purpose of Jesus was not to test his Father’s love but to show us that love through a form of life that loved us most completely.

And so Jesus came to die because form follows function in the life of the Savior. Jesus’ life and thus, his death follow the form of God’s love. For no other reason did he die. He did not die for the mob wish. He did not die for the Pax Romana. He did not die to shame us for killing a good man or a moral guide. He died because of a Father’s love. He died because it was his purpose that in dying death would die. And so, for the believer, death is not dying; it is to live forever in the fellowship and love of God.

Have this mind, this attitude, this function in your own life.

“Where Have You Been?”
James 3:1-12
September 13, 2009
Homecoming Sunday

Mark Twain once said that “it is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” He probably shouldn’t have said that since it very likely offended someone. It is so easy to say the wrong thing or to have someone take what you say the wrong way—the way you didn’t intend it to be taken. A friend said the other day that someone might as well not even work where she worked since they rarely came to work anyway. I looked at her like I couldn’t believe what she had just said. She looked back at me and said without pausing, “I didn’t mean that to sound ugly; I was just stating the truth.”

The great American architect, Frank Lloyd Wright said, “The truth is more important than the facts.” Many Westerners have a difficult time with his claim because we associate the truth with facts. But we should know better. American politicians especially, but also newscasters have been infamous for twisting the facts into their version of the truth. Evidently this spinning of the facts into a distortion of the truth that is sometimes maddeningly difficult to argue with was prevalent when our 16th president was in office. Abraham Lincoln rightly said, “How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four; calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” The premise we begin with affects the outcome. We may say, “Well, the facts are ma’am, that this here appendage is not a tail; it’s a leg.” But everyone knows it’s a tail.

Pontius Pilate asked what he thought was a rhetorical question when he asked, “What is truth?” when Truth stood right in front of him. Col. Jessup said, “You can’t handle the truth,” when the facts were used against him in the court room. The truth is sometimes hard to come by and oftener difficult to explain. Perhaps that is why the great mathematician and theologian Blaise Pascal explained, “We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart.”

Jesus said, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” I think he was talking about something other than facts—something that could not be spun by politicians and news folks and attorneys. I think Jesus was speaking of himself when he said we could know the truth. Certainly he wasn’t speaking of being able to cut through the television chatter and determine if the Democrats or the Republicans were the ones telling the truth this year. When he said we could know the truth, he meant that we could know him. Only in knowing Jesus Christ is truth experienced in such a profound manner that it produces liberty—freedom from the tyranny of  fact spinning. This is in part because he is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. There is constancy in God that one will never find in man.

But how do you come upon this great truth called Jesus? Is it by walking to an altar and having a preacher pray over you? Sometimes. But as Joel said (Joel 2:17) and the band Casting Crowns sings, there is a lot that can be undone between the altar and the door…especially if we take our eyes off of the truth and let them linger too long upon those facts called the people around us.

Last week I wore old shorts, a ratty shirt, and running shoes to preach in so that I could provide a visual of what James said in chapter two, that the man who comes into the assembly in shabby clothing ought to be afforded the same, if not better, treatment as the rich man. Someone said after the service, “Preacher, you hit the nail on the head. My grand kids came to church in jeans once and some folks in church spoke poorly of them for it, and they have never come back to this church or any other church again.” You run a great risk when you take your eyes off the truth and let them focus on the facts. It is always detrimental to stop looking at Jesus so that you can keep boring holes into the ones who offended you.

Last Sunday, of course, by dressing the way I did, I ran the risk of offending someone before I even opened my mouth. And of course once I opened this big trap, all bets were off. It seems like every time I have opened my mouth over the 25 years I have been preaching, someone has misunderstood me. Especially in my first church. Margie always took me wrong and went running to the Senior Pastor to tattle for something I did not say. Well, I mean, I did say those things; that is a fact. But the way she took them was not the way I intended their meaning to be perceived. Usually. The truth of the matter was that I loved Margie and would not want to hurt her. Maybe that is why I love being the Chaplain and friend of so many Police officers. It is not that they always understand my meaning; they mostly just don’t care. I guess they have gotten thick skins from dealing with a certain side of the public.

But is James really concerned here with folks misunderstanding the preacher’s intentions or even someone occasionally saying a colorful word when a hammer hits their thumb? I don’t think so—not in the context of the chapter and the previous chapter for that matter. Those are matters, due to time constraints, better left to commentaries. Let me just cut to the chase and offer you what I think is really being said by James, along with what amounts to a side of embellishment and apology by your preacher.

First of all, I want to say that I am so sorry for anything I or anyone else has said to you over the years that may have offended you and chased you away. Certainly there are those kinds of stories in this church’s history. Maybe no one is present today who has been offended here in the past. But if you are or you hear this over the internet, I am sorry. Sometimes, as I said, we open our mouths and all bets are off. I want to encouraging you however, to please not dwell upon me any other Friend. We aren’t the point; neither is what we said the point. Jesus is the point and what he said is what we need to turn our attentions to. We have to get over our feelings, factual as they may be, and get to the crux. Otherwise, we stay mired in our own distorted realities when Jesus said he wanted to liberate us from those facts.

People have said and are going to say boneheaded things—present company included. We are, after all, just people. No one is master over the tongue. We may have mastered car repair or cooking or building cabinets or taking photographs. But no one is master of their tongue. James said that the tongue sets the world on fire and is the rudder that can cause great ships to wreck. “It is a restless evil,” anxious to cause more trouble. He is a willful person who is able to control that fountain; out of it comes fresh and salt, good and evil, blessing and curse.

If we curse another human being, who is made in God’s own image, are we so much maligning that person or God himself? We need to be very careful with these tongues. All of us. But none so much as the teacher. But even Rabbi Jesus could rankle folks. He said things that really stirred the pot. I guess he was speaking the truth in love. Sometimes I suspect he may have been having some fun at the Pharisees’ and Sadducees’ expense. Gloria Steinem said, “The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off. ” The truth does have a way of getting under your skin. It is supposed to. It’s in the job description. So James cannot mean that we should simply be careful not to offend folks. What was he talking about when he said that not many should become teachers?

Teachers were held in the highest regard in that ancient Church. There was no greater honor bestowed upon a family than that they take in their rabbi, taking care of his every need. Therefore people were eager to be teachers. And some of them should never have been teachers. I have had some of those folks as teachers. They couldn’t teach their way out of a wet paper pulpit. I have also been blessed by exceptional teachers and professors. It doesn’t seem to make much difference whether they are young or old but what does make a difference is maturity and experience. Some of the things I said from the pulpit as a young preacher, make me shudder when I think of them. Young preachers and preachers in general should be very careful about what they teach for they will be held more accountable for their words than others. This is because of ripple effect. Some preacher says something to a church and suddenly 100 people take it as gospel and start preaching it. So you better be careful what you say, teachers. That’s what James is saying.

Heresy or false teaching is all-too-easy to get caught up in. It gives you a corner on the truth. In other words, you have a few facts picked up from a verse or maybe a cross reference, if we are really fortunate, and a dogma spewed forth upon all who are unfortunate enough to be nearby. There is none so annoying or dangerous as the one who thinks he knows the truth because he has a single fact in hand. Read whole paragraphs, whole letters, complete books and testaments, indeed, the entire Bible—and that, many times—before pronouncing your doctrines as law upon the Church.

There are people who will not worship with other Believers because they do not use the right English translation. There is no dogma more bland and pathetic. There is no doctrine that sounds any more like that famous doctrine, We’ve never done it that way before and we ain’t changing now, than that one. I defy most Christians to read the original King’s English of 1611 and understand a word of it. And it is not so much because they cannot understand archaic English; it is because they cannot read. Oh, they can read words; they know the facts that G-O-D spells god and that D-O-G spells dog. But do they perceive the truth of what connected words and sentences mean? Most Christians I have known wouldn’t know a metaphor if it clobbered them over the head or the meaning of a parable unless the Rabbi explained it to them. And before you get offended, please understand that is precisely what Jesus had to do for both his disciples and us (in scripture). We are just as numbskulled as Peter ever was. Let us confess it; it may be good for the soul and will certainly be good for the Church and our families.

It is easy to say the wrong thing and just about as easy to teach a heresy, unless we do as James said earlier in his letter. I paraphrase 1:19: Slow down, shut up, and simmer down. But that probably offends someone. And if that didn’t, let’s try this on for size: Television has proved that most of us aren’t even as smart as a fifth grader. So why don’t we just admit it and get over ourselves? No one has a corner on truth—not even teachers and preachers. But we can know the Truth…and he will set us free…if we will keep our eyes on him and off the words of others. Jesus said it well to Peter in today’s gospel lesson, “You’re setting your mind on the things of man, not on the things of God.”

One of my favorite Zen stories has two monks, Tanzan and Ekido, traveling down a muddy road after a heavy rain. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk komono and sash, unable to cross the intersection. “Come on girl,” said Tanzan. At once he lifted her in his arms and he carried her over the mud.

Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he could no longer restrain himself. “We monks don’t go near females,” he told Tanzan, especially young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?

“I left the girl there,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”

What load of “facts” are you carrying? Where have the facts left you? Where has your heart been focused over the years and where has that left you? Where have you been all these years? Some of us are still riled over something someone said or did years ago? You probably misunderstood those facts for truth anyway. And even if you didn’t, there is a greater truth to be learned: Jesus. Some of us have yet to learn the truth. That’s why we are in bondage to someone else’s words. And they probably didn’t mean them anyway.

Where have you been? It’s time to come home. To Jesus.

Sermon audio and PDF

Kelly has been missing for 6 months. Her story is told in the above video. More details are in this WRAL archive.

I will be leading a prayer vigil for Kelly in Butner, NC at the Central Avenue Butner Park this coming Saturday at 7pm. Please join us. If you cannot be at the vigil in person, please be with the family in the Spirit.

If you have information on the whereabouts of Kelly Currin Morris or information on the arson,
please contact the Granville County Sheriff’s Department @ 919-693-3213 or Granville County Crime Stoppers at 919-693-3100.

In the meanwhile, please keep Kelly and her family in your prayers.

My grandchildren are screwed.

The story of Solomon in 1 Kings begins with his brother Adonijah deciding to be king of Israel (1Kin 1:5). In Eli-like manner, King David never criticizes Adonijah which must have affirmed and intensified his craving for the throne. He had the king’s general, Joab, on his side. To seal his bid for power, he made sacrifices outside the city, perhaps a kind of royal picnic with himself at the head table. His brother Solomon was not invited (1Kin 1:10)—nor of course, were David and the prophet Nathan. In this section of the story, Solomon is shown as a pup, whose mother must look after his affairs. One is reminded of Rebekah looking after helpless Jacob.

David is painted in no warmer light as Bathsheba told him to let the people know their son, Solomon, will be king instead of letting his sons decide. Nonetheless, David quickly devised a plan whereby his other sons are left out of a royal pronouncement inside the city. Solomon was named king and all of his brothers were not invited to the “picnic,” which effectively became their own sacrifice. David’s pronouncement inside the city brought Adonijah back from outside the city to face reality (and David). He seized the horns of the altar, ironically akin to a sacrifice. Because Adonijah now feared Solomon (He must have feared him even earlier since he did not invite him to his king making.) he had Solomon swear his safety and set up the first of supposedly many wise judgments by the new king (the text informs us that he was wise but the examples are few). Solomon’s simple response was that if Adonijah behaves himself all will be well. Adonijah is taken down from the altar horns and knelt before Solomon, to which Solomon told him, in effect, Go home. Your place is not in the palace. Adonijah was no king; the king said so. But Adonijah could not keep away and it cost him his life (1Kin 2:23).

Solomon continued to clean up his father’s poor decisions (e.g.: Joab, another sacrifice on the horns of the altar), acting with wisdom and decisive strength. These judgments, followed through with decisive action, “firmly established” Solomon’s kingdom (1Kin 2:12). Soon, Solomon’s own decisions began to go off course. Instead of marrying within the Faith, he made a political bond with Egypt. Nevertheless, Solomon is said to have loved the Lord—even though he carried on the pagan practices of sacrificing on the high places (1Kin 3:3).

God spoke to him even in such a place at Gibeon, perhaps because Solomon offered a thousand burnt offerings there (1Kin 3:4). God told him in a dream to ask for whatever he desired. Again Solomon showed wisdom. Instead of asking to win the lottery or an equally selfish request, Solomon asked to govern the people well, knowing the difference between good and evil (1Kin 3:9). His prayer is seen granted by how he dealt with the two prostitutes (1Kin 3:16-28). Such wisdom was essential for the ruler of all the lands between the Euphrates to the Mediterranean and down to Egypt. The citizens of Judah and Israel were “happy” (1Kin 4:20). Has this been said before or since his reign? At very least, Solomon was a great administrator and a wise judge. The king of Tyre also thought so (1Kin 5:7) and was enlisted to help in the building of the Temple. Yet, in order to pull off this building project he conscripted forced labor. The formerly mentioned happiness of Judah and Israel is not likely to last. Still, he was able to finish a house for the Lord (1Kin 6:14).

Once this concern of his father’s was accomplished, Solomon expanded his power as well as his love for all things shiny and beautiful. A king was commanded to “not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away, nor…acquire for himself excessive silver and gold (Deut 17:16). Yet Solomon surrounded himself with exclusively golden goblets and many wives—many foreign wives, expressly forbidden by God (1Kin 11:2) since they would “turn away [his] heart after their gods.” Over a thousand wives and concubines led him away from an understanding that there was only one God in the land (Deut 6:4). For all his insight into the affairs of others, in the end Solomon had little wisdom left to apply to himself.

A Character Study of Absalom
and Comment on the Upcoming Election

Absalom was David’s fifth son, the first being the child who died after his affair with Bathsheba, the second Solomon by Bathsheba, the third Amnon by Ahinoam, the fourth Chileab by Abigail, and fifth but not last, Absalom by Maacah. The first story of Absalom, who was an exceptionally handsome man (2Sam 14:25), involves his sister Tamar, who was also beautiful. Amnon, David’s first son beyond Bathsheba, raped Tamar (his half-sister). Absalom held his anger for two years but finally killed him because of his violation of Tamar. It might be argued that this also disposed of one heir to the throne—one who preceded Absalom. Though David’s heart mourned Amnon, he loved Absalom and would have forgiven the trespass (2Sam 13:9) yet the murdering son went into self-imposed exile where his heart became harder still. (There is some confusion as to whether Absalom may even have been “banished” {2Sam 14:13}). Joab, David’s nephew-general brought Absalom back from exile, though he was forced to live apart from King David and the court. Presumably, Absalom’s heart was further hardened toward David by this decree. His heart was hardened toward Joab, though bringing him back from exile was by Joab’s own design. Eventually, for Joab’s troubles and because he honored David’s ruling on Absalom, the difficult son burned Joab’s barley field.

Another Absalom story is either difficult to believe or David’s shekel weight was far less than typical. Absalom’s hair grew at a rapid rate and was markedly thick. At the end of each year, evidently because he just couldn’t keep his head up anymore, he had his hair cut off and it weighed over five pounds. (2Sam 14:26 says his hair weighed 200 shekels. A single shekel is 11.33981 grams…times 200 shekels equals 2,267.962 grams. A gram is .0353 ounces…times 2,267.962 grams equals 80.06 ounces or a little over five pounds of hair.) At first glance, this anecdote has no bearing on the Absalom tale. Yet it may go far in explaining what now seems like an ironic ending to Absalom’s life. It is obvious that Absalom was pleased with his appearance and importance. He was a handsome prince and he would charm or coerce his way in the kingdom. Indeed, once brought back into the king’s presence—again by Joab’s doing—Absalom fancied himself king. Every morning he would sit in the gate as an elder or ruler and judge disputes. The text insinuates that this was not by the decree of David but Absalom’s own presumption of his value to the people, since it was the king’s rulings that the people requested (2Sam 15:6).

This kingly pursuit was not enough for the prince. Next he appointed himself the king of Hebron (where Abraham bought a burial plot for Sarah for the price of two years of Absalom’s hair in silver), which put him in direct conflict with his father since Hebron was just to the south and west of Jerusalem. It was also at Hebron where David was anointed king and reigned for his first seven and a half years (2Sam 5:3-5). Absalom is clearly endeavoring to steal his father’s kingdom. It was working too since the people were turning their favor toward Absalom with such fervor that David was now forced to go into exile (2Sam 15:13-14). This cleared the way for Absalom to carry his “kingship” to Jerusalem, and he did, to the extent that he even took his father’s concubines as his own. There was no end to Absalom’s arrogance.

Next he hunted David (reminiscent of David’s early days with Saul, hiding in caves and pits {2Sam 17:9}) with the intent of quelling any question of who was king in Jerusalem. It was during this quest that Absalom was riding under a terebinth tree. One is left to assume the irony that it was his heavy, long, thick hair that was Absalom’s undoing by becoming tangled in the limbs, leaving him easy sport for jilted Joab. There, hanging in a tree, Absalom might have considered Deuteronomy 21:23. If he had, he would have thought of some way to blame his curse on the father who loved him. Absalom’s grand enterprise to overthrow a kingdom ended in shame—his own as well as David’s.

In light of the elections tomorrow, it is interesting to note that Christians ought to vote for the right candidate but all too often, we let our emotions get far out in front of us. We become Democrats and Republicans first and Christians second. To put it another way, we are US citizens first and children in the family of God second. Because I am a Christian and only secondly a citizen of the United States, I am trusting God with the election. He is sovereign. I don’t believe that means God controls who is going to win the elections tomorrow. But it does mean he will have his way, despite who gets into office.

Absalom may have been more popular with the people but God promised that throne to Absalom’s father. Good looks and smooth talking only go so far. But God is sovereign. He will have his way with the United States (even if that means God turns his back on us) no matter who goes to the oval office in January. So vote your conscience and trust in the Lord. And pray for God to heal our land (2Ch 7:14).

As much as I disdain the so-called We’re calling to get your opinion calls, I dislike even more the ones where I can’t tell the caller how much of an invasion of my home it is to get a half dozen calls a day telling me to vote for their candidate.

Years ago, I started voting against any candidate who had someone come up to me with a sticker or nail file or handbill at the poll. I hate with an absolute hatred being told how to vote. The very idea of planting your candidate’s name in my head with a last-minute slip of paper is so insipid that it inspires me…not to vote for that candidate.

So imagine how much I dislike the telephone calls. I bet you don’t have to imagine. You hate them too. The only ones who don’t mind are the ones who want to tell you how to vote.What if the Church started a calling campaign that tells people how to believe? Hello. I’m calling for Jesus. I’d like to remind you to make your decision count by choosing Yahweh as your God. Go to church this Sunday and make a difference. The first ones to complain about those calls would be the ones who are calling us about their candidate.

So I’m doing them a favor next year since it’s so almighty important to them. I’m giving my opinion now. I’m letting them know exactly how I will vote. You call me and the vote goes the other way. You both call me, I’m voting Libertarian. If they’re wasting their precious funds on annoying the voters, I’m writing in a candidate. Okay. Okay. So my vote won’t count because my candidate won’t get elected. I haven’t seen too much difference in who gets in office anyway. There’s war and taxes either way—no matter what they promise us.

I realize I may end up voting only for the state soil commissioner. And that will be just fine. After all, I’m supposed to vote for what is important to me, right? Not calling my house is very important to me (and everyone I’ve ever asked about it says the same thing) but I wager the candidates don’t really care what is important to us. If they did, the National Do Not Call Registry would apply to political candidates as well. They too are selling me something. Don’t tell us that it doesn’t cost us. It costs us increased taxes, $30 a month for a phone, and the aggravation of having to stop what we’re doing to listen to some canned party line. Our time is worth something—just not to a politician or political party. My time is costly; it’s about time it cost them something too.

One final thought: Do any of these politicians think that we listen to these calls? Don’t you do what I do and hang up?

Next year, I’m not hanging up so fast. I’ll listen just long enough to find out who wants my vote so badly that they’ll call during supper or a Saturday afternoon nap. And when I hear your name, I’m writing it down, and I’m not voting for you. Count on it.