I’m Not Voting for You

Next voting season I’m writing down every candidate who calls my house—especially the recorded calls. Then I will not vote for that candidate. I don’t care if the candidate stands for what I want or not. I’m not voting for that candidate. So just go ahead and count me out of the next presidential election.

As much as I disdain the so-called We’re calling to get your opinion calls, I dislike even more the ones where I can’t tell the caller how much of an invasion of my home it is to get a half dozen calls a day telling me to vote for their candidate.

Years ago, I started voting against any candidate who had someone come up to me with a sticker or nail file or handbill at the poll. I hate with an absolute hatred being told how to vote. The very idea of planting your candidate’s name in my head with a last-minute slip of paper is so insipid that it inspires me…not to vote for that candidate.

So imagine how much I dislike the telephone calls. I bet you don’t have to imagine. You hate them too. The only ones who don’t mind are the ones who want to tell you how to vote.What if the Church started a calling campaign that tells people how to believe? Hello. I’m calling for Jesus. I’d like to remind you to make your decision count by choosing Yahweh as your God. Go to church this Sunday and make a difference. The first ones to complain about those calls would be the ones who are calling us about their candidate.

So I’m doing them a favor next year since it’s so almighty important to them. I’m giving my opinion now. I’m letting them know exactly how I will vote. You call me and the vote goes the other way. You both call me, I’m voting Libertarian. If they’re wasting their precious funds on annoying the voters, I’m writing in a candidate. Okay. Okay. So my vote won’t count because my candidate won’t get elected. I haven’t seen too much difference in who gets in office anyway. There’s war and taxes either way—no matter what they promise us.

I realize I may end up voting only for the state soil commissioner. And that will be just fine. After all, I’m supposed to vote for what is important to me, right? Not calling my house is very important to me (and everyone I’ve ever asked about it says the same thing) but I wager the candidates don’t really care what is important to us. If they did, the National Do Not Call Registry would apply to political candidates as well. They too are selling me something. Don’t tell us that it doesn’t cost us. It costs us increased taxes, $30 a month for a phone, and the aggravation of having to stop what we’re doing to listen to some canned party line. Our time is worth something—just not to a politician or political party. My time is costly; it’s about time it cost them something too.

One final thought: Do any of these politicians think that we listen to these calls? Don’t you do what I do and hang up?

Next year, I’m not hanging up so fast. I’ll listen just long enough to find out who wants my vote so badly that they’ll call during supper or a Saturday afternoon nap. And when I hear your name, I’m writing it down, and I’m not voting for you. Count on it.